The Internet’s Home for Uranus (Jokes)

uranus postertop design 2
Welcome to the first list of (quality) Uranus jokes online!
Uranus is a part of everyone’s childhood. Uranus is synonymous with hilarity.
No one knows anything more about it, than that it’s a laugh riot.
Even though everyone has joked about Uranus, the internet seems to ignore it.
Not Triangles is here to give Uranus the exposure and attention it needs!
All jokes are originals unless it has a name next to it, then it was submitted by a reader
To submit your own Uranus joke; send an e-mail to with the name you’d like by the joke.

Hey girl/boy, did you know Uranus is hotter than the Sun? (also: outta this world?) (Jason P.)

Q: What is big, round and blue?
A: Uranus. (Ashley A.)

Asstronaut John Thomas Peckerman has vowed to penetrate the mysteries of Uranus (Manny Castillo)

NASA is thinking of strapping a couple of rockets to a white dwarf and smashing it into Uranus (Tim, Rindert & Jos)

Uranus is more than thirty thousand miles wide! (Beast)

Check it out! Uranus is flaring up.

Telescope advert: With our new reflecting telescopes, now you really can see Uranus with just two hands and a mirror! (Sebastian Nipplewagger)

Hey! Did you know Uranus has a hole in it?
Really? What’s it called?
Urectum. (Ashley)

Hey! Hey! Did you hear!? A scientist just found life on Uranus! (Brandon)

No one wants to explore Uranus. Stop asking.

You’ve hit rock bottom: You just googled Uranus.

It is impossible to achieve escape velocity from Uranus… we’re stuck here.

Q: What is Uranus’ favorite video game?
A: Call of ‘dooty!’ (Leslie)

The world will end, when Uranus blows. (Kieran Weaver)

Does Uranus have ASS-teroids surrounding it? (Kailee McFartenstein)

How is the Star Trek Enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle Uranus and look for Klingons (Mike)

I heard there is a black hole near Uranus. (Miguel)

There is only disaster and solitude in Uranus’ future.

T-SHIRT: I’m huge in Japan Uranus!

The mark left by the first man on Uranus scarred its surface beyond repair and recognition.

No women have ever been to Uranus, but men… they’ve been all over it.

I’ve spent my whole life trying to unlock the mysteries of the universe, but I keep coming back to Uranus.

NASA Chief: “Keep thinking about Uranus. Never lose sight of it, and then, reach for it.”

I know you say it’s not possible, but how long do you think it will be until we are able to fully experience Uranus?

It is only recently with advents in modern science and deep space penetrating instruments, that we have been able to fully immerse ourselves in the wonders of Uranus.

Scientists worldwide are aware of the unnatural size and unstable nature of Uranus… But there is nothing that can be done. (Miguel)

The first man on Uranus was crushed by the intense pressures beneath its thick atmosphere.

Come join Captain Dicksor on his unending escapades on Uranus!

Ages ago, men scoured Uranus relentlessly. But their ceaseless greed turned it into a cold husk of its former glory.

Q: What do you think of Uranus as a (w)hole?
A: I think it needs to be wiped out! (Tim)

HEADLINE: Scientists have discovered a ring of debris around Uranus! (Tim)

Science is still years away from creating an apparatus sophisticated enough to be able to apporach Uranus. (Michelle)

The Earth, and all of its people, could fit within Uranus 3 times over. (Cooper)

I saw Uranus through my telescope. (Cameron)

I have dreamed of being the first man on Uranus…
Any man would be honored to be the first man on Uranus.

Everyone always notices the blue palor of Uranus and thinks that there can’t be anything worthwhile beyond that.

I made a scale model of Uranus.

Lying on my back under the night sky, I reached up for Uranus.

I hear they found creatures in Uranus.

Uranus is crawling with life.

I once drew a picture of bunnies and flowers dancing on Uranus, but now I know it’s actually covered in stagnation and misery.

If you look really closely, you can see the wrinkles between the rings of Uranus.

(Friend’s name) was a simple man with a simple dream: to reach Uranus and claim it as his own.

Uranus is under constant assault from unidentified objects.

Who do you think will be the first to colonize Uranus?

I heard NASA is going to blow their load on Uranus soon.

How many probes have taken core samples from Uranus?

Just about anyone can see Uranus on any given night.

The group of men who first dared venture to Uranus have never since spoken of what they saw.

Uranus has been held in a shroud of mystery since its discovery.

I hear they’ve plunged quite a few orbiters into Uranus.

Uranus is often seen as a cold and desolate place, but in fact it is extremely volatile and alive.

Time, and history, will never forget the first man on Uranus.

The scientific term, ‘Uranus’ bleeding,’ refers to the one week in the year when a visible red streak follows Uranus’ path.

I’ve heard Uranus is full of craters.

The noxious gases of Uranus could kill a man.