The Internet’s Home for Uranus (Jokes)

A poster of Uranus Jokestop design 2
Welcome to the only list of (quality) Uranus jokes online! Voted by you, and your scientific peers!
Uranus is a part of everyone’s childhood.
Even though everyone has joked about it, the internet still seems to ignore it.
Not Triangles is here to give Uranus the exposure and attention it needs!
All jokes are originals unless it has a name next to it, then it was submitted by a reader
Submit a joke: send an e-mail to uranus@nottriangles.com with the name you’d like by the joke.


Be a part of history and take part in the vote for the best Uranus joke.

  1. The first man in Uranus will blaze a trail for many men to come. (ANONYMOUS NASA EMPLOYEE) (+17)
  2. My name is (REBECCA) I will fly to Uranus, Than land on Uranus, Them stick a American flag in Uranus. (+9)
  3. Hey girl/boy, did you know Uranus is hotter than the Sun? (also: outta this world?) (JASON P) (+8)
  4. I heard there is a black hole near Uranus. (MIGUEL) (+7)
  5. Just about anyone can see Uranus on any given night. (+7)
  6. No women have ever been to Uranus, but men… they’ve been all over it. (+6)
  7. I’ve spent my whole life trying to unlock the mysteries of the universe, but I keep coming back to Uranus. (+6)
  8. How many probes have taken core samples from Uranus? (+6)
  9. NASA is thinking of strapping a couple of rockets to a white dwarf and smashing it into Uranus (TIM, RINDERT & JOS) (+5)
  10. The noxious gases of Uranus could kill a man. (+5)
  11. Telescope advert: With our new reflecting telescopes, now you really can see Uranus with just two hands and a mirror! (SEBASTIAN NIPPLEWAGGER) (+5)
  12. Last night, astronomers were looking at Uranus. They were excited when they saw it. (FORREST) (+5)
  13. Lying on my back under the night sky, I reached up for Uranus. (+4)
  14. I know you keep saying it’s not possible, but how long do you think it will be until we are able to fully experience Uranus? (+4)
  15. You’ve hit rock bottom: You just googled Uranus. (+4)
  16. Q: What do you think of Uranus as a (w)hole? A: I think it needs to be wiped out! (TIM) (+4)
  17. HEADLINE: Scientists have discovered a ring of debris around Uranus! (TIM) (+3)
  18. I heard the best American equipment just probed Uranus. (KEVIN) (+3)
  19. NASA Chief: “Keep thinking about Uranus. Never lose sight of it, and then, reach for it.” (+3)
  20. Does Uranus have ASS-teroids surrounding it? (KAILEE McFARTENSTEIN) (+3)
  21. It is only recently with advents in modern science and deep space penetrating instruments, that we have been able to fully immerse ourselves in the wonders of Uranus. (+3)
  22. The astrological term, ‘Uranus’ Bleeding,’ refers to the one week in the year when a visible red streak follows Uranus’ path. (+3)
  23. The first man on Uranus was crushed by the intense pressures beneath its thick atmosphere. (+3)
  24. How is the Star Trek Enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle Uranus and look for Klingons (MIKE) (+3)
  25. Everyone always notices the blue palor of Uranus and thinks that there can’t be anything worthwhile beyond that. (+3)
  26. Asstronaut John Thomas Peckerman has vowed to penetrate the mysteries of Uranus (MANNY CASTILLO) (+2)
  27. (Friend’s name) was a simple man with a simple dream: to reach Uranus and claim it as his own. (+2)
  28. Science is still years away from creating an apparatus sophisticated enough to be able to apporach Uranus. (MICHELLE) (+2)
  29. Uranus is under constant assault from unidentified objects. (+2)
  30. I hear they found creatures deep within Uranus. (+2)
  31. The first close-up pictures of Uranus were taken in 1986 and captivated the world. (FORREST) (+2)
  32. Uranus is crawling with life. (+2)
  33. Check it out! Uranus is flaring up. (+2)
  34. Uranus is not as big as you think (Jacob’s science teacher) (+2)
  35. I heard NASA is going to blow their load on Uranus soon. (+2)
  36. When Uranus comes into view, the whole world stops and stares. (+2)
  37. NASA has yet to find life on Mars, but I guarantee they could find dirt on Uranus. (SEBERSTEN MANINO) (+2)
  38. Uranus is often seen as a cold and desolate place, but in fact it is extremely volatile and alive. (+2)
  39. The group of men who first dared venture to Uranus have never since spoken of what they saw. (+2)
  40. Scientists worldwide are aware of the unnatural size and unstable nature of Uranus… But there is nothing that can be done. (MIGUEL) (+2)
  41. It is impossible to achieve escape velocity from Uranus… we’re stuck here. (+2)
  42. There will only be six planets left in the solar system after I destroy Uranus. (JP) (+2)
  43. Ages ago, men scoured Uranus relentlessly. But their ceaseless greed turned it into a cold husk of its former glory. (+2)
  44. There is only disaster and solitude in Uranus’ future. (+2)
  45. I once drew a picture of bunnies and flowers dancing on Uranus, but now I know it’s actually covered in stagnation and misery. (+2)
  46. I made a scale model of Uranus. (+2)
  47. The mark left by the first man on Uranus scarred its surface beyond repair and recognition. (+1)
  48. Q: What is big, round and blue? A: Uranus. (ASHLEY A) (+1)
  49. The Earth, and all of its people, could fit within Uranus 3 times over. (COOPER) (+1)
  50. Who do you think will be the first to colonize Uranus? (+1)
  51. I’ve heard Uranus is full of craters. (+1)
  52. Come join Captain Dicksor on his unending escapades on Uranus! (+1)
  53. No one wants to explore Uranus. Stop asking. (+1)
  54. Time, and history, will never forget the first man on Uranus. (+1)
  55. Due to a failure to launch, we won’t go to Uranus. (AIKAY) (+1)
  56. Uranus has been held in a shroud of mystery since its discovery. (+1)
  57. I hear they’ve plunged quite a few orbiters into Uranus. (+1)
  58. I have dreamed of being the first man on Uranus… (+1)
  59. T-SHIRT: I’m huge in -Japan- Uranus! (+1)
  60. If you look really closely, you can see the gaps between the rings of Uranus. (+1)

The Southern pole of Uranus:

  1. I heard there is a black hole near Uranus. (MIGUEL) (-1)
  2. Telescope advert: With our new reflecting telescopes, now you really can see Uranus with just two hands and a mirror! (SEBASTIAN NIPPLEWAGGER) (-1)
  3. NASA has yet to find life on Mars, but I guarantee they could find dirt on Uranus. (SEBERSTEN MANINO) (-1)
  4. Lying on my back under the night sky, I reached up for Uranus. (-1)
  5. Asstronaut John Thomas Peckerman has vowed to penetrate the mysteries of Uranus (MANNY CASTILLO) (-1)
  6. When Uranus comes into view, the whole world stops and stares. (-1)
  7. Uranus is more than thirty thousand miles wide! (BEAST) (-1)
  8. T-SHIRT: I’m huge in -Japan- Uranus! (-1)
  9. I’ve spent my whole life trying to unlock the mysteries of the universe, but I keep coming back to Uranus. (-1)
  10. Science is still years away from creating an apparatus sophisticated enough to be able to apporach Uranus. (MICHELLE) (-1)
  11. I made a scale model of Uranus. (-1)
  12. How is the Star Trek Enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle Uranus and look for Klingons (MIKE) (-1)
  13. The first man in Uranus will blaze a trail for many men to come. (ANONYMOUS NASA EMPLOYEE) (-1)
  14. Due to a failure to launch, we won’t go to Uranus. (AIKAY) (-2)
  15. The first close-up pictures of Uranus were taken in 1986 and captivated the world. (FORREST) (-2)
  16. How many probes have taken core samples from Uranus? (-2)
  17. I once drew a picture of bunnies and flowers dancing on Uranus, but now I know it’s actually covered in stagnation and misery. (-2)
  18. The noxious gases of Uranus could kill a man. (-2)
  19. I saw Uranus through my telescope. (CAMERON) (-2)
  20. Come join Captain Dicksor on his unending escapades on Uranus! (-2)
  21. Does Uranus have ASS-teroids surrounding it? (KAILEE McFARTENSTEIN) (-2)
  22. Hey girl/boy, did you know Uranus is hotter than the Sun? (also: outta this world?) (JASON P) (-2)
  23. Q: What is big, round and blue? A: Uranus. (ASHLEY A) (-3)