The Internet’s Home for Uranus (Jokes)

A poster of Uranus Jokestop design 2
Welcome to the only list of (quality) Uranus jokes online! Voted by you, and your scientific peers!
Uranus is a part of everyone’s childhood.
Even though everyone has joked about it, the internet still seems to ignore it.
Not Triangles is here to give Uranus the exposure and attention it needs!
All jokes are originals unless it has a name next to it, then it was submitted by a reader
Submit a joke: send an e-mail to uranus@nottriangles.com with the name you’d like by the joke.


Be a part of history and take part in the vote for the best Uranus joke.

  1. The first man in Uranus will blaze a trail for many men to come. (ANONYMOUS NASA EMPLOYEE) (+22)
  2. My name is (REBECCA) I will fly to Uranus, Than land on Uranus, Them stick a American flag in Uranus. (+13)
  3. Hey girl/boy, did you know Uranus is hotter than the Sun? (also: outta this world?) (JASON P) (+10)
  4. I’ve spent my whole life trying to unlock the mysteries of the universe, but I keep coming back to Uranus. (+10)
  5. Just about anyone can see Uranus on any given night. (+8)
  6. No women have ever been to Uranus, but men… they’ve been all over it. (+8)
  7. I heard there is a black hole near Uranus. (MIGUEL) (+8)
  8. I know you keep saying it’s not possible, but how long do you think it will be until we are able to fully experience Uranus? (+6)
  9. NASA is thinking of strapping a couple of rockets to a white dwarf and smashing it into Uranus (TIM, RINDERT & JOS) (+6)
  10. Telescope advert: With our new reflecting telescopes, now you really can see Uranus with just two hands and a mirror! (SEBASTIAN NIPPLEWAGGER) (+6)
  11. How many probes have taken core samples from Uranus? (+6)
  12. You’ve hit rock bottom: You just googled Uranus. (+5)
  13. There will only be six planets left in the solar system after I destroy Uranus. (JP) (+5)
  14. Last night, astronomers were looking at Uranus. They were excited when they saw it. (FORREST) (+5)
  15. Lying on my back under the night sky, I reached up for Uranus. (+5)
  16. The noxious gases of Uranus could kill a man. (+5)
  17. Does Uranus have ASS-teroids surrounding it? (KAILEE McFARTENSTEIN) (+4)
  18. Scientists worldwide are aware of the unnatural size and unstable nature of Uranus… But there is nothing that can be done. (MIGUEL) (+4)
  19. The first man on Uranus was crushed by the intense pressures beneath its thick atmosphere. (+4)
  20. Q: What do you think of Uranus as a (w)hole? A: I think it needs to be wiped out! (TIM) (+4)
  21. The first close-up pictures of Uranus were taken in 1986 and captivated the world. (FORREST) (+4)
  22. NASA Chief: “Keep thinking about Uranus. Never lose sight of it, and then, reach for it.” (+4)
  23. When Uranus comes into view, the whole world stops and stares. (+4)
  24. It is only recently with advents in modern science and deep space penetrating instruments, that we have been able to fully immerse ourselves in the wonders of Uranus. (+3)
  25. The astrological term, ‘Uranus’ Bleeding,’ refers to the one week in the year when a visible red streak follows Uranus’ path. (+3)
  26. How is the Star Trek Enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle Uranus and look for Klingons (MIKE) (+3)
  27. There is only disaster and solitude in Uranus’ future. (+3)
  28. Everyone always notices the blue palor of Uranus and thinks that there can’t be anything worthwhile beyond that. (+3)
  29. HEADLINE: Scientists have discovered a ring of debris around Uranus! (TIM) (+3)
  30. Science is still years away from creating an apparatus sophisticated enough to be able to apporach Uranus. (MICHELLE) (+3)
  31. Uranus is not as big as you think (Jacob’s science teacher) (+3)
  32. Check it out! Uranus is flaring up. (+3)
  33. I heard NASA is going to blow their load on Uranus soon. (+3)
  34. I heard the best American equipment just probed Uranus. (KEVIN) (+3)
  35. NASA has yet to find life on Mars, but I guarantee they could find dirt on Uranus. (SEBERSTEN MANINO) (+3)
  36. Come join Captain Dicksor on his unending escapades on Uranus! (+2)
  37. Uranus is often seen as a cold and desolate place, but in fact it is extremely volatile and alive. (+2)
  38. The group of men who first dared venture to Uranus have never since spoken of what they saw. (+2)
  39. It is impossible to achieve escape velocity from Uranus… we’re stuck here. (+2)
  40. Ages ago, men scoured Uranus relentlessly. But their ceaseless greed turned it into a cold husk of its former glory. (+2)
  41. I once drew a picture of bunnies and flowers dancing on Uranus, but now I know it’s actually covered in stagnation and misery. (+2)
  42. Asstronaut John Thomas Peckerman has vowed to penetrate the mysteries of Uranus (MANNY CASTILLO) (+2)
  43. T-SHIRT: I’m huge in -Japan- Uranus! (+2)
  44. I made a scale model of Uranus. (+2)
  45. Q: What is big, round and blue? A: Uranus. (ASHLEY A) (+2)
  46. (Friend’s name) was a simple man with a simple dream: to reach Uranus and claim it as his own. (+2)
  47. Uranus is under constant assault from unidentified objects. (+2)
  48. I hear they found creatures deep within Uranus. (+2)
  49. Uranus is a massive ball of methane, gas and ice with rock in the middle. (+2)
  50. Uranus is crawling with life. (+2)
  51. Time, and history, will never forget the first man on Uranus. (+1)
  52. No one wants to explore Uranus. Stop asking. (+1)
  53. Due to a failure to launch, we won’t go to Uranus. (AIKAY) (+1)
  54. Uranus has been held in a shroud of mystery since its discovery. (+1)
  55. I hear they’ve plunged quite a few orbiters into Uranus. (+1)
  56. I have dreamed of being the first man on Uranus… (+1)
  57. Uranus is more than thirty thousand miles wide! (BEAST) (+1)
  58. If you look really closely, you can see the gaps between the rings of Uranus. (+1)
  59. The mark left by the first man on Uranus scarred its surface beyond repair and recognition. (+1)
  60. The Earth, and all of its people, could fit within Uranus 3 times over. (COOPER) (+1)
  61. Who do you think will be the first to colonize Uranus? (+1)
  62. I’ve heard Uranus is full of craters. (+1)

The Southern pole of Uranus:

  1. I made a scale model of Uranus. (-1)
  2. Lying on my back under the night sky, I reached up for Uranus. (-1)
  3. Uranus is a massive ball of methane, gas and ice with rock in the middle. (-1)
  4. Telescope advert: With our new reflecting telescopes, now you really can see Uranus with just two hands and a mirror! (SEBASTIAN NIPPLEWAGGER) (-1)
  5. When Uranus comes into view, the whole world stops and stares. (-1)
  6. T-SHIRT: I’m huge in -Japan- Uranus! (-1)
  7. No one wants to explore Uranus. Stop asking. (-1)
  8. Science is still years away from creating an apparatus sophisticated enough to be able to apporach Uranus. (MICHELLE) (-1)
  9. It is impossible to achieve escape velocity from Uranus… we’re stuck here. (-1)
  10. Uranus is not as big as you think (Jacob’s science teacher) (-1)
  11. The mark left by the first man on Uranus scarred its surface beyond repair and recognition. (-1)
  12. I’ve spent my whole life trying to unlock the mysteries of the universe, but I keep coming back to Uranus. (-1)
  13. No women have ever been to Uranus, but men… they’ve been all over it. (-1)
  14. It is only recently with advents in modern science and deep space penetrating instruments, that we have been able to fully immerse ourselves in the wonders of Uranus. (-1)
  15. I saw Uranus through my telescope. (CAMERON) (-2)
  16. How is the Star Trek Enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle Uranus and look for Klingons (MIKE) (-2)
  17. NASA has yet to find life on Mars, but I guarantee they could find dirt on Uranus. (SEBERSTEN MANINO) (-2)
  18. Come join Captain Dicksor on his unending escapades on Uranus! (-2)
  19. The first man in Uranus will blaze a trail for many men to come. (ANONYMOUS NASA EMPLOYEE) (-2)
  20. How many probes have taken core samples from Uranus? (-2)
  21. Does Uranus have ASS-teroids surrounding it? (KAILEE McFARTENSTEIN) (-2)
  22. Hey girl/boy, did you know Uranus is hotter than the Sun? (also: outta this world?) (JASON P) (-2)
  23. I heard there is a black hole near Uranus. (MIGUEL) (-2)
  24. My name is (REBECCA) I will fly to Uranus, Than land on Uranus, Them stick a American flag in Uranus. (-2)
  25. Asstronaut John Thomas Peckerman has vowed to penetrate the mysteries of Uranus (MANNY CASTILLO) (-2)
  26. Uranus is more than thirty thousand miles wide! (BEAST) (-2)
  27. I heard the best American equipment just probed Uranus. (KEVIN) (-2)
  28. Last night, astronomers were looking at Uranus. They were excited when they saw it. (FORREST) (-2)
  29. I once drew a picture of bunnies and flowers dancing on Uranus, but now I know it’s actually covered in stagnation and misery. (-2)
  30. The noxious gases of Uranus could kill a man. (-2)
  31. Due to a failure to launch, we won’t go to Uranus. (AIKAY) (-3)
  32. Q: What is big, round and blue? A: Uranus. (ASHLEY A) (-3)
  33. The first close-up pictures of Uranus were taken in 1986 and captivated the world. (FORREST) (-4)