The Internet’s Home for Uranus (Jokes)

A poster of Uranus Jokestop design 2
Welcome to the only list of (quality) Uranus jokes online! Voted by you, and your scientific peers!
Uranus is a part of everyone’s childhood.
Even though everyone has joked about it, the internet still seems to ignore it.
Not Triangles is here to give Uranus the exposure and attention it needs!
All jokes are originals unless it has a name next to it, then it was submitted by a reader
Submit a joke: send an e-mail to uranus@nottriangles.com with the name you’d like by the joke.


Be a part of history and take part in the vote for the best Uranus joke.

  1. The first man in Uranus will blaze a trail for many men to come. (ANONYMOUS NASA EMPLOYEE) (+36)
  2. My name is (REBECCA) I will fly to Uranus, Than land on Uranus, Them stick a American flag in Uranus. (+25)
  3. I heard there is a black hole near Uranus. (MIGUEL) (+15)
  4. Hey girl/boy, did you know Uranus is hotter than the Sun? (also: outta this world?) (JASON P) (+14)
  5. There will only be six planets left in the solar system after I destroy Uranus. (JP) (+11)
  6. NASA is thinking of strapping a couple of rockets to a white dwarf and smashing it into Uranus (TIM, RINDERT & JOS) (+11)
  7. No women have ever been to Uranus, but men… they’ve been all over it. (+11)
  8. I’ve spent my whole life trying to unlock the mysteries of the universe, but I keep coming back to Uranus. (+10)
  9. Telescope advert: With our new reflecting telescopes, now you really can see Uranus with just two hands and a mirror! (SEBASTIAN NIPPLEWAGGER) (+10)
  10. Just about anyone can see Uranus on any given night. (+10)
  11. The noxious gases of Uranus could kill a man. (+9)
  12. NASA has yet to find life on Mars, but I guarantee they could find dirt on Uranus. (SEBERSTEN MANINO) (+8)
  13. Does Uranus have ASS-teroids surrounding it? (KAILEE McFARTENSTEIN) (+8)
  14. You’ve hit rock bottom: You just googled Uranus. (+8)
  15. Last night, astronomers were looking at Uranus. They were excited when they saw it. (FORREST) (+7)
  16. The first close-up pictures of Uranus were taken in 1986 and captivated the world. (FORREST) (+7)
  17. When Uranus comes into view, the whole world stops and stares. (+7)
  18. How is the Star Trek Enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle Uranus and look for Klingons (MIKE) (+6)
  19. Q: What is big, round and blue? A: Uranus. (ASHLEY A) (+6)
  20. I heard the best American equipment just probed Uranus. (KEVIN) (+6)
  21. NASA Chief: “Keep thinking about Uranus. Never lose sight of it, and then, reach for it.” (+6)
  22. How many probes have taken core samples from Uranus? (+6)
  23. I know you keep saying it’s not possible, but how long do you think it will be until we are able to fully experience Uranus? (+6)
  24. The greatest threats to the human race will emerge from Uranus. (+5)
  25. The first man on Uranus was crushed by the intense pressures beneath its thick atmosphere. (+5)
  26. Q: What do you think of Uranus as a (w)hole? A: I think it needs to be wiped out! (TIM) (+5)
  27. Lying on my back under the night sky, I reached up for Uranus. (+5)
  28. Uranus is not as big as you think (Jacob’s science teacher) (+5)
  29. Check it out! Uranus is flaring up. (+5)
  30. Asstronaut John Thomas Peckerman has vowed to penetrate the mysteries of Uranus (MANNY CASTILLO) (+4)
  31. Uranus is a massive ball of methane, gas and ice with rock in the middle. (+4)
  32. I heard NASA is going to blow their load on Uranus soon. (+4)
  33. Due to a failure to launch, we won’t go to Uranus. (AIKAY) (+4)
  34. Scientists worldwide are aware of the unnatural size and unstable nature of Uranus… But there is nothing that can be done. (MIGUEL) (+4)
  35. The astrological term, ‘Uranus’ Bleeding,’ refers to the one week in the year when a visible red streak follows Uranus’ path. (+3)
  36. There is only disaster and solitude in Uranus’ future. (+3)
  37. Everyone always notices the blue palor of Uranus and thinks that there can’t be anything worthwhile beyond that. (+3)
  38. HEADLINE: Scientists have discovered a ring of debris around Uranus! (TIM) (+3)
  39. Science is still years away from creating an apparatus sophisticated enough to be able to apporach Uranus. (MICHELLE) (+3)
  40. Who do you think will be the first to colonize Uranus? (+3)
  41. It is only recently with advents in modern science and deep space penetrating instruments, that we have been able to fully immerse ourselves in the wonders of Uranus. (+3)
  42. It is impossible to achieve escape velocity from Uranus… we’re stuck here. (+2)
  43. Uranus is more than thirty thousand miles wide! (BEAST) (+2)
  44. Ages ago, men scoured Uranus relentlessly. But their ceaseless greed turned it into a cold husk of its former glory. (+2)
  45. I once drew a picture of bunnies and flowers dancing on Uranus, but now I know it’s actually covered in stagnation and misery. (+2)
  46. T-SHIRT: I’m huge in -Japan- Uranus! (+2)
  47. I made a scale model of Uranus. (+2)
  48. (Friend’s name) was a simple man with a simple dream: to reach Uranus and claim it as his own. (+2)
  49. Uranus is under constant assault from unidentified objects. (+2)
  50. I hear they found creatures deep within Uranus. (+2)
  51. Uranus is crawling with life. (+2)
  52. Come join Captain Dicksor on his unending escapades on Uranus! (+2)
  53. No one wants to explore Uranus. Stop asking. (+2)
  54. Uranus is often seen as a cold and desolate place, but in fact it is extremely volatile and alive. (+2)
  55. The group of men who first dared venture to Uranus have never since spoken of what they saw. (+2)
  56. Uranus has been held in a shroud of mystery since its discovery. (+1)
  57. I hear they’ve plunged quite a few orbiters into Uranus. (+1)
  58. I have dreamed of being the first man on Uranus… (+1)
  59. If you look really closely, you can see the gaps between the rings of Uranus. (+1)
  60. The mark left by the first man on Uranus scarred its surface beyond repair and recognition. (+1)
  61. The Earth, and all of its people, could fit within Uranus 3 times over. (COOPER) (+1)
  62. I’ve heard Uranus is full of craters. (+1)
  63. Time, and history, will never forget the first man on Uranus. (+1)

The Southern pole of Uranus:

  1. No women have ever been to Uranus, but men… they’ve been all over it. (-1)
  2. Just about anyone can see Uranus on any given night. (-1)
  3. It is only recently with advents in modern science and deep space penetrating instruments, that we have been able to fully immerse ourselves in the wonders of Uranus. (-1)
  4. You’ve hit rock bottom: You just googled Uranus. (-1)
  5. I made a scale model of Uranus. (-1)
  6. The first man on Uranus was crushed by the intense pressures beneath its thick atmosphere. (-1)
  7. I’ve heard Uranus is full of craters. (-1)
  8. Lying on my back under the night sky, I reached up for Uranus. (-1)
  9. Telescope advert: With our new reflecting telescopes, now you really can see Uranus with just two hands and a mirror! (SEBASTIAN NIPPLEWAGGER) (-1)
  10. T-SHIRT: I’m huge in -Japan- Uranus! (-1)
  11. No one wants to explore Uranus. Stop asking. (-1)
  12. Science is still years away from creating an apparatus sophisticated enough to be able to apporach Uranus. (MICHELLE) (-1)
  13. It is impossible to achieve escape velocity from Uranus… we’re stuck here. (-1)
  14. The mark left by the first man on Uranus scarred its surface beyond repair and recognition. (-1)
  15. I’ve spent my whole life trying to unlock the mysteries of the universe, but I keep coming back to Uranus. (-1)
  16. Last night, astronomers were looking at Uranus. They were excited when they saw it. (FORREST) (-2)
  17. I once drew a picture of bunnies and flowers dancing on Uranus, but now I know it’s actually covered in stagnation and misery. (-2)
  18. I saw Uranus through my telescope. (CAMERON) (-2)
  19. NASA Chief: “Keep thinking about Uranus. Never lose sight of it, and then, reach for it.” (-2)
  20. How is the Star Trek Enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle Uranus and look for Klingons (MIKE) (-2)
  21. Come join Captain Dicksor on his unending escapades on Uranus! (-2)
  22. How many probes have taken core samples from Uranus? (-2)
  23. Does Uranus have ASS-teroids surrounding it? (KAILEE McFARTENSTEIN) (-2)
  24. When Uranus comes into view, the whole world stops and stares. (-2)
  25. Uranus is more than thirty thousand miles wide! (BEAST) (-2)
  26. NASA has yet to find life on Mars, but I guarantee they could find dirt on Uranus. (SEBERSTEN MANINO) (-3)
  27. The first man in Uranus will blaze a trail for many men to come. (ANONYMOUS NASA EMPLOYEE) (-3)
  28. I heard there is a black hole near Uranus. (MIGUEL) (-3)
  29. Uranus is a massive ball of methane, gas and ice with rock in the middle. (-3)
  30. Q: What is big, round and blue? A: Uranus. (ASHLEY A) (-3)
  31. Asstronaut John Thomas Peckerman has vowed to penetrate the mysteries of Uranus (MANNY CASTILLO) (-3)
  32. Uranus is not as big as you think (Jacob’s science teacher) (-3)
  33. I heard the best American equipment just probed Uranus. (KEVIN) (-3)
  34. The noxious gases of Uranus could kill a man. (-4)
  35. Due to a failure to launch, we won’t go to Uranus. (AIKAY) (-4)
  36. Hey girl/boy, did you know Uranus is hotter than the Sun? (also: outta this world?) (JASON P) (-4)
  37. My name is (REBECCA) I will fly to Uranus, Than land on Uranus, Them stick a American flag in Uranus. (-5)
  38. The first close-up pictures of Uranus were taken in 1986 and captivated the world. (FORREST) (-7)